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I handicapped the three big Travers (I) preps this past week… personal picks Ever So Lucky and Street Life hit the board in the Curlin Stakes. Alpha was fitter than I expected in the Jim Dandy (II) where second place went to Neck ‘N Neck as I predicted and Fast Falcon faltered, and last of all, I got the exacta in the Haskell (I). Other weekend cash-ins worth mentioning were $10 on Amazombie in the Bing Crosby (I), $5 on Winter Memories (Dream Peace [IRE] screwed my Winter Memories-Zagora [FR] exacta) in the Diana Stakes (I), and $2 on a longshot Matz trainee named Assateague on the Saratoga turf.

As a rule and a showing of my true inner stubbornness, I will typically make plays on whatever race I handicapped mid-week on the weekends unless a) the odds are horrid and or b) there was a significant change to the race, such as a key horse scratching or in many cases of late, track condition changes. One thing I will freely admit is that I have yet to really grasp how an off track will affect how the race shapes up, and ultimately, finishes. One guideline a NYRA commentor mentioned leading up to the Jim Dandy (II) that I openly agree with is that with an off track comes the opportunity for longshots to shine, as many who ran poorly on a fit track tend to blossom in the mud or just take advantage of a struggling favorite on the surface. Failure to consider the heavier-than-expected rainfall probably didn’t affect me much this weekend, but it has in the past!

This week, I’m going to go light on everyone and just let the horses speak for themselves. Summing up the 3 three-year-old preps in one word is “meh.” I don’t know what to make of the Jim Dandy (II), most of all. I will say that I do not consider Alpha to be a top contender and will be taking advantage of all the love he’s getting when the Travers rolls around. He set soft fractions on the front end on an off track and while he won by about 2 lengths, the race was not impressive at all. Gemologist beat this horse at his best and that one finished last in the Haskell (I)… what does that say? Paynter looked dominant, but considering the loose credentials of the Haskell field, he wasn’t tested. At this point in time, I think Street Life will win the Travers.

As far as older horses go, Winter Memories made me proud beating up Tapitsfly and the Euros to be 3-for-4 at Saratoga and a wonderful prospect for the Breeders’ Cup Filly Turf (I). Just an easy win for her right there. Sprinter Capital Account should be watched in the future as well as a Starlight Racing two-year-old named Lawn Man I had down to win (but did not bet because of the deep field, agh! 10-1!) who destroyed a very classy maiden special weight at Saratoga.

Coming soon now that I just thought of it and acquired some background touches: vidya handicapping all fancy-like. Guinea pig for next weekend: the Stephen Foster Handicap (I).

D. Wayne Lukas and I have at least one thing in common now after Hamazing Destiny reared up and struck him atop the head. Ouch.

Best of luck today to Yummy With Butter, who will butt-ering heads (hehe get it?) with Get Stormy and Data Link in the Monmouth Stakes (II). I think he’s a worthwhile bet, getting a whopping 7-pound break from the two favorites. Just needs a good trip is all.

Some tips for my future self and all others who want to go to another major stakes day: bring umbrella, bring warm clothes, bring cooler full of food and water, bring fold-out chair to park by the fence (get to the parking gates early of course), and leave none of them in the car. Bonus tip: if you want cheap merch, wait a little while before you buy… sketchy vendors might walk around selling duffel bags full of what you wanted at a fraction of the retail amount >.> Also, if you have catheters, insert them.

Douchebag J. Crew model-look alikes everywhere. I’ve never seen so many fucking boat shoes in my life.

Elmont, New York passed all my ghetto credentials: it has liquor stores next to “churches/congregations,” a 99 cent store every other block, and neon lighting in the windows up the wazoo. (I am referencing the Hempstead Turnpike)

So proud of Union Rags AND Atigun! Street Life was up there, as well (and what a small horse he is in real life)!

Mario Gutierrez is the cutest jockey alive, stopping to wave to all of his youngest fans in the post parades.

Everyone around me appeared to be wagering heavily on either Paynter or Unstoppable U (hahaha what? And why was he 10-1?)… all’s fair in love, war, and ponies.

I am writing the NYRA to protest a few things… mainly how the “security” guards walking the tunnel between the fence and the outer rail had no walkie talkies when we asked to have a few drunks behind us dealt with. Danger potential, much?

I don’t know if it showed up on TV/video replay, but before Winter Memories stopped gaining on Tapitsfly in the Just a Game Stakes (I), it looked like she stepped into something deep and just slightly tripped. Tapitsfly deserved the win, but I can’t help but wonder about what I saw…

The sport of kings: where aging school buses shuttle you in on one of its biggest days!

Racing would make a lot more money on stakes days if they made official phone apps for betting. I saw so many people who wanted to go back up to the windows to bet more after seeing certain horses on the track, but couldn’t because they wouldn’t make it on time or were trapped by the crowds. I would have won more money then, personally!

Zayat is the unluckiest name in horse racing. Period.

I never want to have to see a breakdown like Giant Ryan’s… or worse… again if I can help it. I also never want to have to be in front of drunken college assholes who think it’s funny to mock the horse when he’s down and helpless.

Tweet o’ the Week: Joe Talamo has a sense of humor

Wow. Just wow is all I can say, but it was a long time coming.

I have long disagreed with many practices that trainer Rick Dutrow utilizes in training his horses, which he does almost to an unsportsmanlike degree, but now it’s official. The New York Racing Association has cast out Rick Dutrow due to repeated violations of state rules for ten years— not permanently, as it was originally going to be, but a decade is good and long enough to be ousted from one of the biggest racing states.

Dutrow has been found guilty of unlawful training practices on 15 tracks across 9 states including New York, especially concerning strict doping and medication rules. The trial was brought on by a trainee named Fastus Cactus, who urine-tested positive for an illegal medication following a last-place finish, and the subsequent discovery of hypodermic needles in the Dutrow barn.

Dutrow became infamous again this year for running a lower-level horse named Indian Tale 4 times in 12 days, a controversial tale covered by the New York Times and other publications. The three-year-old filly was claimed by Dutrow for $35,000 and was tested once in a dirt sprint, then raced twice at seven furlongs on dirt, then again in a mile turf race. The filly appeared to be in good condition, but the NYRA saw it as “cruel” treatment towards the horse.

Among the most well-known past Dutrow trainees include Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown, D’Funnybone, Court Vision, and Offlee Wild.

The NYRA closed the case with board member Daniel Hogan commenting on Dutrow, “He loved winning more and he wasn’t above breaking rules to win.”