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Handicapping was done lightly this weekend, but fruitful— much more so than last weekend where I finished in the red (losing money as opposed to the usual gain of $15-20 on average or at least breaking even). The handicapped race of the week nailed the exacta of Teeth of the Dog, Fast Falcon in what was a really thrilling rendition of the Dwyer (II), despite a LOT of handicappers out there insisting Unstoppable U was fresh for the test. I hope to see both of these colts try the Travers (I). Additional wagers were won on a runner-up Juddmonte Empire Maker colt named Input at 14-1 (usually I don’t wager on undercard races, but this one offered great value and was super strong in this race) over at Belmont, top pick Camp Victory at 10-1 in the Triple Bend (I), and Hansen in the Iowa Derby (III).

The highlight of the summer no doubt has to be the Saratoga meet, the star attraction being the Travers Stakes (I) held in late August. Michael Matz trainee Teeth of the Dog proved his mettle again on Saturday while winning the Dwyer (II) in a test that determined his talent as well as his fortitude. The biggest question that determined who I wound up picking, Teeth of the Dog or Fast Falcon for the win, was whether or not the Dog was really 5 pounds better than that sharp runner-up of the Easy Goer. People tend to discount weight imposts now that no one gets a 10 or 15 pound break like they did in the old days, but they’re still important in certain races. Rewatching the Easy Goer footage, Teeth of the Dog did not endure the best trip and was rolling in the stretch. I don’t think Fast Falcon would have caught him had he moved earlier. Thus, you can imagine my fright when the Dog went to the early speed and was charged by Fast Falcon in the stretch, with the win being settled by a dramatic duel. Oy! Teeth of the Dog has some class, all right. Watch replay below

Unless I’m feeling good about a particular horse, I usually stray away from the sprints. However, with word out about trainer Mike Mitchell’s brain tumor, I felt a major power play brewing in the wide-open Triple Bend (I). Mitchell’s daughter is engaged to jockey Julien Leparoux, and with regular Joe Talamo aboard a talented darkhorse in Camp Victory, it was a no-brainer pick at 10-1. The Factor would be a bold favorite with his flashy speed, but with so many inconsistencies to his record, he was a hard sell off his Dubai crumble. Smiling Tiger also failed to impress me racing on Belmont Stakes Day, so he was also out. For a while it looked like the rail-running The Factor would keep burning oil right to the wire but in came Camp Victory! With competitive speed numbers, the underdog from a recovering trainer put the pedal to the floor in the stretch and established one of the most memorable sprint wins I’ve seen so far this year. While the New England Patriots couldn’t pull off an emotion-based win in the Super Bowl, don’t count out racehorses and their jockeys. Watch replay here

Coming soon now that I just thought of it and acquired some background touches: vidya handicapping all fancy-like. Guinea pig for next weekend: the Stephen Foster Handicap (I).

D. Wayne Lukas and I have at least one thing in common now after Hamazing Destiny reared up and struck him atop the head. Ouch.

Best of luck today to Yummy With Butter, who will butt-ering heads (hehe get it?) with Get Stormy and Data Link in the Monmouth Stakes (II). I think he’s a worthwhile bet, getting a whopping 7-pound break from the two favorites. Just needs a good trip is all.

Some tips for my future self and all others who want to go to another major stakes day: bring umbrella, bring warm clothes, bring cooler full of food and water, bring fold-out chair to park by the fence (get to the parking gates early of course), and leave none of them in the car. Bonus tip: if you want cheap merch, wait a little while before you buy… sketchy vendors might walk around selling duffel bags full of what you wanted at a fraction of the retail amount >.> Also, if you have catheters, insert them.

Douchebag J. Crew model-look alikes everywhere. I’ve never seen so many fucking boat shoes in my life.

Elmont, New York passed all my ghetto credentials: it has liquor stores next to “churches/congregations,” a 99 cent store every other block, and neon lighting in the windows up the wazoo. (I am referencing the Hempstead Turnpike)

So proud of Union Rags AND Atigun! Street Life was up there, as well (and what a small horse he is in real life)!

Mario Gutierrez is the cutest jockey alive, stopping to wave to all of his youngest fans in the post parades.

Everyone around me appeared to be wagering heavily on either Paynter or Unstoppable U (hahaha what? And why was he 10-1?)… all’s fair in love, war, and ponies.

I am writing the NYRA to protest a few things… mainly how the “security” guards walking the tunnel between the fence and the outer rail had no walkie talkies when we asked to have a few drunks behind us dealt with. Danger potential, much?

I don’t know if it showed up on TV/video replay, but before Winter Memories stopped gaining on Tapitsfly in the Just a Game Stakes (I), it looked like she stepped into something deep and just slightly tripped. Tapitsfly deserved the win, but I can’t help but wonder about what I saw…

The sport of kings: where aging school buses shuttle you in on one of its biggest days!

Racing would make a lot more money on stakes days if they made official phone apps for betting. I saw so many people who wanted to go back up to the windows to bet more after seeing certain horses on the track, but couldn’t because they wouldn’t make it on time or were trapped by the crowds. I would have won more money then, personally!

Zayat is the unluckiest name in horse racing. Period.

I never want to have to see a breakdown like Giant Ryan’s… or worse… again if I can help it. I also never want to have to be in front of drunken college assholes who think it’s funny to mock the horse when he’s down and helpless.

Tweet o’ the Week: Joe Talamo has a sense of humor